26 Feb 2014

Lately I've been...

Pretty happy with my life. Even though working life has not always been perfect, I'm still pretty much happy with what I'm doing in the office everyday, the people I meet everyday and also plenty of time to spend with my loved ones and my friends on the weekends, and lastly, time for myself at night. 

This whole time in my job felt like a lesson from God every single day. It's like as if he was giving me a chance to experience life in sales, accounts and a design job. All are not easy, especially if you are doing a design for an official business. The stress is also there if you can't get the task done in time..... or most of the time when I'm just adding more stress to myself because I set crazy deadlines for my work. My colleagues are also the NICEST colleagues you'll ever meet as they are always there being their super funny and entertaining selfs. I meet different people everyday as I'm seated right next to the HR dept, so YES PERFECT PEOPLE WATCHING SPOT but hey I finish my work before I go home everyday.

Though getting to my workplace IS a very pissing activity (Lakeside to Woodlands then take a feeder bus, if there's a train fault GG, if Woodlands interchange decides to pms and go on strike, also GG), I still enjoy my job very much. I have been working here coming to two full months and I'm surviving pretty well, still on good terms with my bosses, still on good terms with my colleagues. My office is also a super casual place (WE CAN WEAR FLIP FLOPS AROUND) and yeah everything's just awesome.

I like how my life is running now. With a time to occupy my days waiting to go to Uni doing something productive everyday and time spent with God during lunch breaks and the weekends. If only I could continue this till end April before I leave for Korea but NO results just has to come and whack me in the ass next Monday.

I'm pretty sure this set of results will be something life-defining as I'm really not sure if it will bring me to greater heights or throw me even deeper down into hell. Hopefully it will be what my dad says "If one is at his/her lowest point in life, they can only rise to something higher, not go even lower." I AM definitely nervous and I've had countless, totally random mental breakdowns at random timings (e.g. at work, after cell, before I sleep) and it's really affecting my mental health tbh. It's very worrying to know what this set of results is and can do to me in the future ksgnmsdklmfsakfmpoawragkosdpgksdobksdobks

I'm comforted to know that there's a Higher One up there who has already drafted out my beautiful life perfectly. But what if Mr Higher One wants me to do science all over again, or do the mundane study of math, english, blah blah blah, all over again. I almost had to drag myself for a depression check last year while retaking my A's as I was just struggling to stay alive and not have the urge to go kill myself or do something silly as the process was just too painful to go through again. 

I have no idea what my results are going to be like. The last time I thought they were gonna turn out well since I worked so hard for it, but they turned out crappy. This time, some papers were honestly smoothly completed, some are just gonna bring me down to hell again, but I HAVE SERIOUSLY NO IDEA WHAT IM GONNA GET. URGH I AM SO STRESSED.

Time to get back to work and thank God this afternoon's work is just design design design design design aka doing something I enjoy and hopefully it will take my mind off this.



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